Being a mom, I'm constantly reminded of just how strong I have become. Carrying two pregnancies, giving birth, producing milk to nourish my babies. Besides the fascination of what my body has been capable of doing, I'm honestly amazed at how much my strength has magnified since having children. I think this hammer strength is a woman's right of passage upon entering motherhood.
Before the kids came along, I made a pact with my husband. I would be on shit duty-he puke. I couldn't see puke, smell it, hear it or think it. If I did, all hell would break loose...can't possibly take care of a vomiting child when you're puking yourself. This weak stomach of mine somehow metamorphosed into steel when I became a mom. It comes with the territory. I am now capable of handling human feces and vomit like no other. I wear this badge honorably because I earned it!
Both kids were sick last week-unfortunately simultaneously with me. Although the flu test resulted in a negative, it very much mirrored it. I woke up one night with a fever- freezing, dry mouth, sore throat and headache from hell. I couldn't even lift my head to take a sip of water from my nightstand! I felt like absolute shit. I envisioned myself getting up to take Tylenol in the kitchen while getting an extra blanket from the living room. I laid there for what felt like forever, listening to the beat of my headache, shivering, thinking of all the things that would make me feel better, completely and utterly immobile- until hearing..."mommyyyyy"!!! And... right out of bed I went. Just like that. For myself, I laid there suffering. My son needed me and there wasn't a moments hesitation. Knowing he felt similar to how I did - made me feel worse. After getting him what he needed, I lay cuddled next to him in his twin bed- shivering synchronized, praying to God to transfer his pain to me. If only cuddling could somehow access that transfer, our kids would go unscathed for life- and, we really would be able to do it all!
A mother's strength comes in many different forms. I never thought I would make it when both kids stopped napping! It can be a bouncy house rescue- climbing a blow-up ladder military style with one arm, while carrying a child in another! Sometimes its finding the courage to speak up at school when need be. This animal instinct to protect my young is a strength within me I never knew existed. I have evolved into this Superwoman that can get through just about anything. I always knew I wanted to be a mom...I just didn't know I would feel this amazing being one. Putting their needs, wants and desires first takes a lot of strength...I believe we suddenly possess this strength because Lord knows- we need it!
Being a mom is empowering. I have never felt as confident as I do today as Chloe and Max's mom. Sure there are days I want to have a cocktail by 10am- but that strength within me gets me through the day (or at least until 5pm) without it! I brought them into this world and have watched them grow into these amazing little people- because of me. I always second guessed myself and what I was good at before having them. This- I got. This is what I was meant to be. A mommy. And... I couldn't be happier with my title...or my new found mommy muscle.
This post is dedicated to my two little loves, Chloe and Max. Thank you both for making me feel so important. The love you both have for me feeds the Superwoman in me to keep me going on those not so fun days. Mommy loves you both more than my heart can hold. You have made my life what I wanted it to be.